Returned To Over and Over

Before coming to meetings, many of us never knew that our problem had a name.  All we knew was that we couldn't control our sexual behavior.  For us, sex was a consuming way of life.  Although the details of our stories were different, our problem was the same.  We were addicted to sexual behaviors that we returned to over and over, despite the consequences. - Sex Addicts Anonymous Page 3.

I remember pushing back against the idea of sexual addiction.  Some argued that the idea of addiction is counter to the idea of sin or the moral side of my behavior.  Others didn't like the term for the opposite reason thinking that if they accept it as an addiction, they would be judging a behavior they felt they were perfectly free to do.  But I had to remove myself from such debates and admit that this was behavior I was returning to over and over again in spite of what it was doing to my life and the great peril it was putting me.

In spite of the large amount of money spent, the time wasted, the secrets carried, the deception of missing work, stretching lunch hours, making up stories, the risky behavior, the uncertainty of disease, and the treat of being caught, I would return again again and again.  

I am perfectly willing to identify as a sex addict.  I got to the place where I no longer wanted to argue the term.  I just wanted help.